I spent part of last weekend hanging out with my dad. He’ll be 83 later this month. Back in the day he was a gangly, tan, athletic young guy with the world by the tail. He grew up in the small town of Spruce Pine, North Carolina, one of seven children in a family in a small home with big hearts. His dad, my grandfather, was a carpenter by trade, and spent his weekends as a pinch hitting minister for the local Baptist church. His mom, my grandmother, was a smaller lady with a big smile, a ton of energy and the ability to raise six strapping boys and a daughter- it was a full time job.
My dad and mom were married as teenagers (17 and 18 years old respectively) and left the small town life of Spruce Pine in search of their future together. They didn’t have a clue, but they loved each other, weren’t afraid of what was ahead, and knew that there was plan for their lives, no matter what came their way. My sister was born in 1955, my brother in 1956. With two young children and a little bit of money saved up from the two jobs my dad had at the time (in a steel mill and driving a milk truck), they set out for California, the land of opportunity. A long bus ride later, they reached the Golden State. It was 1959, and they settled in northern California, among orchards, coastline and a small but booming valley which would later become known worldwide for it’s silicon among other things.
I was born here, in California, not too long after that, and a few years later my younger brother as well. As a family we were fairly close, and as kids we grew up in a pretty typical middle class neighborhood. We had most things we wanted, but learned the value of a dollar pretty early on- for me it was opportunities to mow yards for the neighborhood, take care of people’s homes and pets while they were on vacation, and save up for that “thing” I wanted so badly- a new guitar, skateboard, bike, etc. Later on it was money for dates, movies, and going out with friends. Life was pretty good overall and we had (and have) much to be thankful for.
Fast forward to today’s life. My dad is comfortable, and lives on a golf course in the Lincoln Hills area, with a beautiful home, a fairly active social life, good church family and pretty regular visits from his middle son (and to this day he still beats me easily at ping pong). His financial needs have all been met, primarily through a successful printing business he built from the ground up, along with some smart choices in the California real estate market. He and my mom, with no more than a high school education, built a life for their family and put their children through college. My mom passed away in late 2017 and I miss her still, but I know that her 65 plus years with my dad were well spent, she watched her children grow up and start out on life’s journey each in their own way, no two of them fully alike but still remaining in constant communication and contact with each other none the less.
And so it continues. For me today, I’m still forging ahead, watching my own children (all now young adults) as they launch out on their own. Six girls in total, and one son- four are married and the youngest now is a recent graduate of Cal Poly San Luis Obispo (summa cum laude no less). I have no plans for slowing down just yet- still working, still keeping busy with projects and home stuff, with no real thought or plan for what lies ahead…but…I’d like to think I’ve got the same determination instilled in me, whose origins lie deep in the wooded hillsides of Spruce Pine, North Carolina. My stepson , who lived for nearly two years in our detached “guest house”, had a sign that hung outside his front door which read “Adventure Awaits”. That seems like an appropriate comment on our collective lives these days, to be sure. Despite the sheer lunacy of all that has happened thus far in 2020, I remain a big believer in the character quality of determination. It’s great to plan, to have a plan, for your life, your career, your family or whatever, but plans do not always align with reality. Whether you’re a planner or not, having the character quality of determination as a part of who you are as a person can become one of the most effective and rewarding aspects of your life. Determination is often the difference that tips the scales of victory in your direction.
Whether you are in the back woods of North Carolina, or living on the beautiful coastline of northern California, consider the quality of determination as it applies to your own life.
-Tim
Tim Talks - Thoughts about Life 